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Literature Text
Bang.
RED LINE crossed
pain in the ball of the foot
left right left right
new speeds never reached
slow advancement
seventh place.
second.
third.
first.
brain rush
flying without wings
nothing to snag on
foot disappeared
BLISS
eighteen yards
ONWARDS
sixteen yards
ONWARDS
Zero Yards
Last place
RED LINE
RED LINE crossed
pain in the ball of the foot
left right left right
new speeds never reached
slow advancement
seventh place.
second.
third.
first.
brain rush
flying without wings
nothing to snag on
foot disappeared
BLISS
eighteen yards
ONWARDS
sixteen yards
ONWARDS
Zero Yards
Last place
RED LINE
I'm in a weird mood, so I just sat down and wrote the first words that came into my head. So... yeah.
Re-reading it, It sucks. But I would like some critique, so...
Re-reading it, It sucks. But I would like some critique, so...
© 2008 - 2024 FurvaCatta
Comments10
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I actually really like it. You can kind of... dig into it and find stuff that may or may not be there. Which is really cool. I also like the rhythm and just the use of words - it's a lot of fun to say aloud and read, because it moves so well.
Good job!! *fave*
Good job!! *fave*